I was a young Aussie living in Belfast in Northern Ireland and one of my best friends from home Ben was living in England. He traveled across the waters to come and see me. We had a lovely Thai meal and then went to the pub for some traditional Irish diddlydee music.

All of a sudden my legs started trembling and my throat went dry. There was a funny taste on my tongue and I thought that I might vomit. I sat there, while the heat rushed to my face, my stomach churned and I started to feel my throat closing over. I couldn’t breathe. It was not the first time that I had felt this way. I thought I might die…

We left the pub and I felt really guilty. My best friend had made a huge effort to come and see me and wasn’t asking for anything more than a nice night out with me and I had spoiled everything. It was then that I made a choice… I would never have an anxiety attack again.

I realised that I had been completely at effect of my circumstances and I had been living like I could have an attack at any time, powerless. I was not causing or creating my life and I was not being at the source of my choices. What I had been doing was resisting the anxiety, making it wrong and becoming more anxious about being anxious, which would result in an attack.

I chose to put myself at cause and I realised that I could choose whether or not I would feel anxious in any moment and I could also choose how I would relate to feeling anxious. The next time I chose to feel anxious, I simply acknowledged that I had chosen anxious as an un-resourceful way of being, gave it up and chose a more productive way of being.

As I started practicing choosing my way of being I felt a freedom and a sense of empowerment that I had never felt before. Then I took it to another level. Have you ever noticed that you always seem to be waiting, or some call it procrastinating. I used to say to myself things like, ‘when I feel more certain about whether or not I can do it, I will act’ or ‘when I feel better about myself, then I will ask him out on that date,’ ‘when I am feeling more energetic, I will start that project.’

Human beings often perceive that we need to wait until we have something until we can get into action. For example, when I have the money, I will change careers and then I will be happy. Now, imagine how powerfully you could be at cause in your life if you flipped it…if you could choose the way you are being. Couldn’t you choose to BE happy and then DO the things that a happy person would do, which may be doing a career that you love and wouldn’t you then HAVE the results, for example abundance.
BE – DO – HAVE!!

In every moment there is an opportunity to be at cause and to choose to be whatever way takes your fancy at the time!! When somebody cuts you off in traffic, who says that you have to wave your fist in the air, get frustrated and curse. Don’t be at effect of your circumstances, choose with volition and power who you want to be in the face of what life throws at you. I keep thinking of the positive message of Jimmy Cliff, the famous reggae king, in his song, ‘I want, I do, I get’. So, who do you need to BE to DO what it will take to HAVE the things that you want for yourself and your life?

I spent a lot of time feeling like I didn’t know who I was and telling myself over and over that nobody understood me and that nobody knew the real me. When I finally realised that I only exist in who I am being and that I get to choose who I want to be I was very excited. What shall I create, I thought to myself. What sort of person do I want to be? I am the author, I am the captain and I am the driver in my life now.

I have not had one single anxiety attack since I took on being at cause in my life. Look at the Babe Ruths and the Ghandis of the world. When Babe Ruth pointed to where he would hit the ball and then proceeded to hit it further and when Ghandi took a stand for his country that he did not know how he was going to fulfill, do you think they were at cause or effect? Do you think they were waiting until they felt more certain or more sure? Do you think they were allowing anybody else to “make” them feel a certain way?

So, when you wake up in the morning, ask yourself this, ‘what shall I create today’ and play big because quite frankly, what are you waiting for?

By Rachel Anastasi
FREE TO BE ME, Life Coaching